There is a saying that goes a bit like “when nothing goes right, go left.” Over the past nine and a half years, it seems all I had been doing was going left. In my personal life, in my professional life, and especially when it comes to health. I have been through half a dozen different treatment options, and while some were more successful than others (I was surprised to see that the alternative treatments worked better than traditional medicine), there was always a drawback, some side-effect, something making me a bit unwilling to trade a “normal” life for my new normal.
I followed my advice. I put my notebook to good use and started jotting down my thoughts. So I can turn them into blog posts. And it made me feel good. About me, about what I do, about what I can do. Which to be honest is not an easy thing to do – at least some of the time. Not because of my MS, but… No, wait! It is because of the MS (for the most part at least).
So, I’ve been meaning to write a new post for a few days now.
It just seems like that never worked out, and I kept postponing it to “tomorrow.” Well, today is that tomorrow – for the tenth day running – so I pushed myself to actually write something.
Observing the world around me lately I noticed a reluctance by people to accept the inevitability of change. Now, it’s not like I’ve been oblivious to this reality – and it is a reality no matter how liberal you think the world is – but the truth is that whenever you think you’ve found its limits, there’s that little bit more that kind of catches you off guard.
noun ser·en·dip·i·ty \ˌser-ən-ˈdi-pə-tē\
: luck that takes the form of finding valuable or pleasant things that are not looked for
Source: Merriam-Webster’s Learner’s Dictionary
I have been feeling kind of down for the past 10 days or so. And while I’d love to attribute this depression to my new medication, I know that the reason behind it is deeper.
After a month off my blog – I did kind of slack it off during August, because, August – I am finally back. So, let’s have a short update.
August was dreadful. Hot, humid, just unbearable. And coupled with all the work I had to do (on three fronts mind you) I was absolutely exhausted. Drained of all energy and quite frankly dragging my self from home to the office and back. I am certain the heat took a toll on other people too, but having to also deal with MS – as I’ve said before – accentuates things. And no, don’t ask me to quantify how much worse it is, I cannot do that. It just is. Please accept it.
The environmentalists among you probably read the title, blurted out some explicit, and stopped reading. I am pretty sure of it. Those with an active lifestyle (who might like to bake in the sun too) probably think I am exaggerating and being a whinny child. But please, the title is nothing but a funny Doctor Strangelove reference. And if you are still reading, hear me out. I promise it will all make sense in the end.