I’ve spent the past few months, since my contract in the financial sector expired and I decided to reposition my career path but I was unable to do so because my health had been deteriorating, thinking about this phrase. Considering that I am unable to do a lot of things I used to, and what that meant for me personally. After all, everyone wants to be productive members of society, we all want to contribute, to make a difference.
The feelings of ineptitude that bubbled up made me feel helpless. So, what did I do? At first I overanalyzed it. And then I felt despair. That feeling that you are worthless, unworthy, even a poser. But then, as I often do, I rationalized the situation. And watched a lot of Netflix in the process, but that is another issue that has a lot to do with my tendency to procrastinate.
Being at risk of relapsing into my former condition of not writing as often as I would like, here go some thoughts. Let me also clarify that the “as often as I would like” part of my sentence above in no way implies a need to write simply because I have to write something, in order to fulfil some egotistical need to speak. It is just an exercise, which I at least believe, will help keep my mind agile.
I followed my advice. I put my notebook to good use and started jotting down my thoughts. So I can turn them into blog posts. And it made me feel good. About me, about what I do, about what I can do. Which to be honest is not an easy thing to do – at least some of the time. Not because of my MS, but… No, wait! It is because of the MS (for the most part at least).
Today is #WorldMSDay. The actual day I was talking about in my post on Monday. In that post I urged people to go out today (or any day they want to for that matter), and talk to someone with MS. Have them explain what life is like for them, and how their life goes on despite the difficulties.
And two of my colleagues followed that advice!